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Run 1677
Location: Merrow
On Inn: Horse & Groom
Hare: Poola

It's been quite a few months without incident for GH3's virgin Hares, so there was no small amount of anticipation for this weeks trail.

The circle has been growing during the spring season. We were joined by Tahan and Early Entry was a returnee(?). There were so many new faces that Wally was convinced he'd turned up at the wrong hash.

The location was a Pecker-pleasing Guildford spot which also ticked the box for the On Inn being the start/finish. Things could only really get worse...

The first check looked to be perfect. About a polo-mint's worth of flour and a total shambles as nobody appeared to be able to solve it. However, this turned out just to be a poor bit of calling from Lady Garden (as far as I could tell) - rumour was that he'd got a blockage in his horn.

Talking of the 17th century, which we weren't, I'll include a short description of how blockages were dealt with at the time: "If there is a stone in the bladder make sure of it as follows: have a strong person sit on a bench, his feet on a stool; the patient sits on his lap, legs bound to his neck with a bandage, or steadied on the shoulders of the assistants. The physician stands before the patient and inserts two fingers of his right hand into the a***, pressing with his left fist over the patient's pubes. With his fingers engaging the bladder from above, let him work over all of it. If he finds a hard, firm pellet it is a stone in the bladder..."

We'd been joined this week by a couple of the famous five on bikes, they thoughtfully pointed out bees in trees and weaved in and out of the pack throughout the r*n. Investigations pointed at them belonging to Lady Chatterly.

Passing the George Abbot and the Anchor and Horseshoes, the trail proved to be an urbane mix of urban and woodland trails.

Wurzle is always suspicious when it comes to checking out the checks, this week was no different. Perhaps he should try a different head one week.

Behind the Spectrum there was a wood described as a good place to get raped. This didn't seem to deter anyone.

We gate-crashed the County show followed by a brief spell along the road before heading up to the Guildford Golf Club. The only brief interruption was some chap from a well-to-do dwelling suggesting that the hashers should perhaps return from whence they came. Possibly after realising the relief that Ferret found in his back garden wasn't tax relief.

The new administration continues apace to revoke the actions of the prior leadership. This week hash-fash featured heavily and the acoustic committee took experimental soundings regarding the post-hash vocalities.

Little Pecker appeared to have lost trail before the start and was somewhere in the Midlands looking for flour. If GH3 were capable of thoughts I'm sure they'd have been with him for as long as short-term memory allowed. He can be assured that we've got Loose Article on the job to make sure that if he fails to win his race we'll tie-up the result in litigation - sadly, though this might delay the result for years he'll still be running the race when it's resolved.

Prior to the circle at the end, Ferret's Hash Fitness group assembled and proceeded to discuss anatomy and physiology whilst the rest ploughed into a cake larger than the oven it was baked in.

Despite a prompt to remember the sinners I promptly forgot.

All in all a great success - well done Poola, just need to find you a new name now.

On On!

Dingers
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John Hindle created an event for Guildford Hash House Harriers. ... See MoreSee Less

Midsummer Nightmare

June 17, 2017, 11:49am - June 17, 2017, 2:49pm

Arrive Friday evening or Saturday morning. On the Friday, we set up the marquee, break open the beers and enjoy a fish and chip supper at £5. On Saturday, we kick off with bacon and egg baps and at 1...

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Booking now. Go to guildfordh3.org.uk/midsummer-nightmare-2017/ Thank you. ... See MoreSee Less

Midsummer Nightmare

June 17, 2017, 11:49am - June 17, 2017, 2:49pm

Arrive Friday evening or Saturday morning. On the Friday, we set up the marquee, break open the beers and enjoy a fish and chip supper at £5. On Saturday, we kick off with bacon and egg baps and at 1...

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Does anyone know who has the guildfordh3@gmail.com account, and if they are still using it? If it is one of us and it is dormant, it would be useful to have it for the hare-hole ... See MoreSee Less

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Look what I found on the way home..... ... See MoreSee Less

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Hash Fash, Kelinchi is sporting a new range of technical GH3 running T-Shirts at the On Inn (Horse & Groom) this Monday. Choose your style, colour and size. £8 with hash horn + hash handle or £5 with hash horn only. This low price is due to a GH3 subsidy which is limited to ONE T-Shirt per MEMBER and for a limited time only. The cost to non-members is £17 and £14 respectively. Please bring cash or cheque payable to GuildfordH3. Thank you. ... See MoreSee Less

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Shona Cooper created an event for Guildford Hash House Harriers. ... See MoreSee Less

Oktoberfest Hash

October 21, 2017, 11:00am - October 21, 2017, 2:00pm

Yodel-ay-hee-hoooo! Oktoberfest is coming to Guildford, and what better way to enjoy it than with fellow hashers...we are a drinking club after all! The event will start at Guildford Station at 11am...

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Is anyone doing the 10 miler this Saturday going to walk it? ... See MoreSee Less

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Quite a few city hashers are coming to Dingers Beerkley event. Hope to see you all there too! ... See MoreSee Less

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Midsummer Madness? Better get cracking if I'm going to convert this out of the scooter ... See MoreSee Less

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Event details have been updated. Purchase your SATURDAY AFTERNOON SEATED tickets (before they sell out) here: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/oktoberfest-guildford-tickets-33638329148?aff=es2 ... See MoreSee Less

Oktoberfest Hash

October 21, 2017, 11:00am - October 21, 2017, 2:00pm

Yodel-ay-hee-hoooo! Oktoberfest is coming to Guildford, and what better way to enjoy it than with fellow hashers...we are a drinking club after all! The event will start at Guildford Station at 11am...

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Anyone fancy this ..... ... See MoreSee Less

12 hour Night & Day Adventure Race returns on 15th July. Multi discipline,10pm - 10am. Come on the journey in the Surrey hills, bit.ly/2rrr4LI #nightandday #racethenight #tri4all #triadventure ...

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The next hash will be from/to the Horse & Groom in Merrow. To stay in keeping with the last hash, there will not be any tequila. ... See MoreSee Less

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Tequil-any doubts... ... See MoreSee Less

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Run 1676 - Shalford Queen Vic - Tequila Sunset - Hare Little Ding a Ling

In troubled times Post Pecksit you need a strong and stable hare.

Sadly none were available

The group assembled basking in the drizzle for what was sure to be one of the main contenders for next years Golden Boot . All the right elements were there for a royal fuckup, an overconfident hare with a well thought out trail set from a pub with easy access to Guildford was bound to fail....and fail it did.

After an 'amuse bouche' of a mini loop through someones greenhouse the pack set off at its usual 3mph to explore the region of Surrey known for its Vineyards and Breweries ...something of a 'World inebriation heritage site'

Tequila was first fermented from Agave plants nestled on the North Downs Way in the 16th Century , the unique 'alternative sunshine ' and fertile rain made this a particulary blessed place for this plant which sadly died out so the recipe was taken by the inhabitants of Shalfords 'Spanish Quarter' to Mexico where it became the famous beverage it is today.

Keen to increase GH3s 5 a day the hare felt a sporty stop with some fresh lemons would benefit everyone. By adding salt he could potentially increase heart rates and make runners run faster and Tequila seemed the obvious accompaniment to this health kick.

At the regroup the pack agreed that the beer shots with flour lines were the most unusual Tequila stop we had ever done. In these austere times and so close to a recent election in the club it was disappointing to see 1 beer being shared among 40 hashers. With no Beer Monster things could not be salvaged easily.

Had Dingers had fish and bread he probably could have performed miracles. As it was we had hashers that can turn wine into wee quickly so it seems God looks down favourably on the club.

The run took us on a superb 4 mile wander through 5 miles of the North Downs Way in a shape reminiscent of a snowman .

Renaming Drinkerbell was the highlight of the circle, which was ignored by In the Bum and G Force who had an important private meeting whilst the circle proceedings occurred. Bods had his prolapse sticking out and we had many new faces in the circle who have yet to see the club deliver anything close to a 'run'

The club learnt their first new down down song in 30 years with complicated birthday inspired lyrics to celebrate Little DIng and Lings 50th and Poochs 18th.

Beers were downed and in true OTAHO style a shit run was saved by food bribes. This time cheesy Hash chips ( not a hashing name ) were greedily stuffed into faces washed down with lashings of beer .

As Dingers went late into the night drinking shots alone at home whilst 'Facebook Live' many of us shed a tear for a Hare whos life had hit such a low. I'm sure he can impress a whole new raft of hashers with his recycled hash AGAIN in the same place on Saturday.

This acting scribe wishes him the greatest success on his epic 10 mile run on Saturday . Impressive distance indeed.

On On
LP
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The correct answer to "when life gives you lemons..."

Maybe lift-share this evening.
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Receding hareline.
NOW TAKING BOOKINGS INTO LATE OCTOBER.
I arranged some tentative dates in Sept/Oct with hares on Monday: please let me know if there are any problems.
On On Otaho

1678 May 29th (BH) In yer Face
1679 June 5th Loose Article
1680 June 12th Dangerous
1681 MSN-June 17th Camping weekend
1682 June 19th MTT
1683 June 26th Doggy Style
1684 July 3rd Thrush hour / Drinkerbell
1685 July 10th 5 Bucks
1686 July 17th Dogbreath
1687 July 24th Chastity Belt
1688 July 31st Specky
1689 August 7th Call Girl
1690 August 14th Wally
1691 August 21st Cynthia & In The Bum
1692 August 28th Camping Gaz (Bank Hol)(
1693 Sat Sept 2nd Groper nuptial w/e
1694 Sun Sept 3rd Call Girl nuptial w/e
1695 Sept 4th Dr Pussy
1696 Sept 11th Frigidaire / Just Richard ?
1697 Sept 18th Drift
1698 Sept 25th Honey?
1699 Oct 2nd Bodyshop
1700 Oct 9th Wurzel
1701 Oct 16th RHUM ?
1702 Oct 23rd
1703 Oct 30th

Emergency spare-hare : Ladygarden
New Year: Daring Alice & Alison
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Monday's run is from the Queen Victoria pub, GU4 8BY, in Shalford. The train car-park now charges, but should be adequate parking at the pub, around the school or near the scout hut. ... See MoreSee Less

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Would anyone be interested in Hash chips on Monday? The landlord was pretty pleased last time we descended on him on a Monday as there were only 2 people in at the time. He has previously provided the school Dads with bowls of chips. ... See MoreSee Less

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Run #1675
Hare: OTAHO
Location: Ranmore Common
On Inn: The Plough

OTAHO is not a pheasant plucker, nor a pheasant plucker's son. But someone had plucked pheasants when the hash came for a run.

It's only 2 weeks before Little Pecker runs 1000km, so why does he spend so much time moaning about the runs being too long? Also, why has he organised such a run in May when beaky persons are so busy - ask Honey.

We had new people turn up this week, but the old people were still talking so one of them will miss out on their 5 minutes of fame because I couldn't hear them introduced. The ones I did get were Julian, Erica and Sniffer, a visitor from London Hash.

Lite Bite and Twin Peaks were back for good, maybe bad. It certainly seemed bad at the start. The hare was asking for a map.

Bods and Wipe clean were back from holidays.

Now, for this joke to work you have to realise that the diagraph 'ti' is pronounced 'sh' - got it? Ok, I'll proceed.

He must have had a touch of dementi-hare.

It really doesn't work in print does it?

Talking about print - that photo of Drift? Didn't realise they had cameras back then.

...and what about the moles!? GH3 hash has been infiltrated by moles. These miscreants turn up and actually run. Not only do they run, they suck the life out of what should be a glorious romp in the country and turn it into something called exercise. It can then be judged as good or bad and like-wise the participants.

Dr Pussy, Inspector Gadget, Fridgid Air and Camping Gaz need tp do a bit of soul-searching and maybe they'll come back to the fold.

Despite Drinkerbell also having success in a race over the weekend I'm fairly sure she's retaining the hashing spirit. Possibly youth allows you to burn the candle both ends and in the middle.

The moles weren't the only ones racing - Dog Breath and Wally had a show down. Though in true hash-fashion it only lasted 30 seconds.

Actually hash-fash normally takes 3 years...

FRB's were a plenty Camping Gaz, Daring Alice, Betty and Drift all stepped up early on. Even The Pro and Cynthia were out scouting later.

I was chased by cows, and pranced at by horses. There were lambs in mint condition, but let's not bleat about the bush, the valleys were lovely. I'm not just talking about the builder's bums either.

The excuse the hare had was that he'd changed the trail on the day because of Dangerous.

The cake proved to be a lie.

There were more virgins/visitors at the end that there were at the start. #Spencer had joined us supposedly from SH3, not sure if that's a hash-tag or his actual name.

Betty avoided being named Andreas as apparently nobody knows who Betty Ford is. Those who did thought is was brilliant. However, new management is currently issuing executive orders to repeal much of the legilation passed by the former disgraced GM.

Hold on - I haven't said anything about the r*n!

It was too bloody long!

The setting was stunning - lovely valleys, sublime views.

I'm sick of bluebells.

To finish I would like to say a little about the hare.

OTAHO, apparently named when someone said "What should we name him?"

He is...

O, outgoing

He is...

T, taciturn

His trail was...

A, abysmal

On Inn was...

H, harebrained

But he is O oh, oh, oh...

...the GH3 youth section should look up the D.I.S.C.O. song to understand the reference. The rest of GH3 should ask their grandchildren about pop-music.

On on!

- Dingers
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This really made me laugh! ... See MoreSee Less

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Well this seems suspicious! ... See MoreSee Less

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Dan G.E. Rous's Hash on 12 June will be from the Stepping Stones Public House , Westhumble; Surrey RH5 6 BS

4.5 beautifully crafted, Peckerly correct hash miles with a short cut for UnderBirthnBugs
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OTAHOs run from a knitting circler/dog loving perspective! ... See MoreSee Less

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