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Run: #1708
Location: Canmore Common
On Inn: The Plough

It's Effingham is something that you'd say when given a sandwich that you were hoping was going to be mature cheddar and onion on a crusty roll. Possibly one might also exclaim 'the Effingham burger is thirteen pounds!'

The pack at the start was so small I could write down all the names - Honey, Wally, Dr. Pussy, Lady Garden, Mind the Tracks, Ferret, G-Force, Dange, Bods, Not Quite Sure, Inspector Gadget, Frigidaire, Cynthia, In the Bum, In Yer Face, MacNicBrook and OTAHO, the hare.

Also Virgin Fran had decided to give hashing a brief try.

The hare started with an apology and advised everyone to shortcut if they got a chance. He also continued with his unique introductory guided hash start as there was no flour for the first .4 miles. I'm pretty sure it's the third time he's spent the first five minutes getting the pack going in the right direction on his trails.

Anyway, once there was flour to follow we all followed it. Honey had wisely worn one water-proof sock, presumably thinking he could put his best foot forward and not worry about the other one.

Incredibly, despite the shiggy, many of the participants chose to take the long route.

Early Entry who had turned up late managed to pass Gas (Camping Gaz that it).

He also wondered if running on shiggy was a skill that you could learn.

I'm here to say that you need to find a local river with a sloping bank and four times a week you should wade in and out of that river for ten minutes.

At the end of this you won't be any better running on mud, but you will have learned that nobody on the hash will ever give any useful advice.

Never let it be said that G-Force is one to do little. She's certainly not a cow-whisperer, as she, and the cows, could be herd for miles.

Whilst we're on the subject - what's a cow's favorite song?

"I like to mooooo-ve it, moooo-ve it!"

Cynthia had turned up in her French Equestrian Poker t-shirt, the Horse le Shufflers.

A number of other hashers drifted in late. Loose Article looked to be the perfect hasher, turning up in the car-park at the end and not at all on the actual hash.

The trail was a delightful combination of muddy woodland paths and muddy hillsides. Mud featured heavily punctuated by some slightly wetter puddles of mud. Not Quite Sure seemed to have extensive local knowledge of the area.

At the end Honey turned on his red-light to show his mobile brothel was open. Possibly this accounts for the amorous couple of chaps who had decided to 'get it on' in the car-park which had put Doggy Style off the run.

The pack came back in three distinct groups, the first of which consisted of the FRB's who seemed convinced they were at the back. Embarrasingly the scribe got back before the Beer-meister which is a beginners mistake.

The virgin I am informed didn't make it.

First lot of sinners were G-Force for talking and Frigidaire for being talked to.

Second lot were the late comers: Early Entry, Drift, Dog Breath, Loose Articles and Kelinchi with Bods tagging along due to a short pointer.

At the end a short silence was held for Goldenballs from SH3 who has solved the final check and left us for the On-Inn in the sky.

On On

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Here is the information on Surrey's December FIRST FRIDAY HASH DECEMBER 1ST.
The FFM 4 Run starts from the Brewery Road Car Park, GU21 4ND, which is located underneath the World Wildlife Fund offices. NOTE: There is as £1.40 Parking Charge from 7pm so please arrive no earlier. Hence a 7.10pm start for this run. The ON ON will be at a Lebanse in Woking called Jeitta. A few minutes walk. It is a BYO establishment so bring your own booze. They charge £2.00 pp for a corkage fee.
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**ROAD CLOSURE** Monday's hash at Ranmore Common: for those of you thinking of taking the road up from the traffic lights at Effingham Golf Club on the A246, be aware that Critten Lane is CLOSED. If you go that way you will need to turn left into High Barn Road (~1/4 mile from TLs), which also goes up to Ranmore Common Road (then turn L after which Hogden Rd. is first L). There is a sign saying that High Barn Road is unsuitable as a diversion, but, although narrow, and needing care, it is OK. Roads to Ranmore Common from the A25 (White Down Lane) and from East Horsley (Green Dene / Crocknorth Rd) are also OK. Route down to pub after hash will also be down High Barn Road.
On on (with diversion), OTAHO
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A Christmas bag just for me!! #wipecleanonly ... See MoreSee Less

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Absarnth ... See MoreSee Less

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Receding hareline. Please let me know if any designated hare has a problem with her/his date. On On Otaho
1709 Nov 27th 2017 Inspector Gadget / Frigidaire, Chantries
1710 Dec 4th 2017 Doggy Style
1711 Dec 9th 2017 Little Pecker, Nativity run
1712 Dec 11th 2017 Bodyshop
1713 Dec 18th 2017 Ding-a-Ling, Advent-ure
1714 Dec 26th 2017 Drift, Boxing Day
1715 Jan 1st 2018 Daring Alice & Alison
1716 Jan 8th 2018 Mind The Tracks
1717 Jan 15th 2018 Little Pecker
1718 Jan 22nd 2018 Simple, Burns Night
1719 Jan 29th 2018 Wipe Clean / Gnaw Dick
1720 Feb 5th 2018 Satisfaction Guaranteed
1721 Feb 12th 2018 In yer Face Albury Cricket Ground
1722 Feb 19th 2018 HARES
1723 Feb 26th 2018 NEEDED
1724 Mar 5th 2018
1725 Mar 12th 2018
1726 Mar 19th 2018 Poola Radcliffe, St Patrick's Day ?
1727 Mar 26th 2018
1728 Apr 2nd 2018
1729 Apr 9th 2018
1730 Apr 16th 2018
1731 Apr 23rd 2018
1732 Apr 30th 2018
1733 May 7th 2018
1734 May14th 2018 Ding-a-Ling
1735 May 21st 2018
1736 May 28th 2018
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Gaz Morris created an event for Guildford Hash House Harriers. ... See MoreSee Less

Burns Night Supper

January 22, 2018, 8:30pm

We will be celebrating Burns Night at our usual venue in Guildford. More details to follow, so watch out for the email.

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Run #17(0)07
Hare: Kelinchi
Location: Hankley Common
On In: The Golden Fleece

Your scribe this week was volunteered with no notice or opportunity to gather any memorising media and had to rely on his Garmin watch. The stress of the situation resulted in pressing the “treadmill” setting so all that can be recorded was that I travelled 4.8 virtual miles in 71 minutes at an incline of 20% in cyberspace.
According to the website the hash was held on Hankley Common which has as its only claim to fame that it masqueraded as a Scottish bog in a B movie half a decade or so ago as the 25th in the series of bog movies. The temperature certainly seemed Scottish as our producer, Gaz Mende,s introduced Andy, our virgin (always handy for a bog movie) dragged along by Poola. Our Hare, Miss Kelinchipenny set the pack off up the in-trail so it was only with the help of Daniel Craigygarden that the out-trail was located and the pack rapidly gained altitude.
Something seemed to be missing. Ah yes, we seemed to be having a bog movie without a villain, Raoul Silverpecker was absent this week. Dr No Octopussy tried to substitute, but apart from being 25 (or 11) movies and 55 years too late she was experiencing a night of first time experiences; namely “getting it”, kicking through a check and having the intricacies of the past participle of the verb fellāre explained by Loose Article.
Just as the pack had stared to warm up we were back in the Drop Zone although for all the altitude gained we should have been 500ft higher but like Escher in reverse we still seemed to have our feet on the ground. The evening had given rise to a multitude of sub-villains (aka sinners) with Q-shop and Dame Judy Blanket providing technical advice and backup to all who were unable to understand that the basic premise of a hash is that you follow the flour. Stunts were provided by Dr No Octopussy and her stunt double Steinkampf in the tumbling department while more creative stunts in the form of skipping were the territory of Adelestyle (see below). Two more sinners were condemned in the circle for such obscure crimes as making slow progress up a crack (Call Girl) and excessive kindness (Poola). For reasons beyond the knowledge of the scribe, Groper was also given life imprisonment for playing a pantomime Dame. To complete what had now become a pantomime, our esteemed leader Adelestyle lead the stunning theme tune in honour of the hare, vaguely reminiscent of the Grand Old Duke of York.
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So if I’d found this earlier I could have given the route away! Uploaded 8 hours ago. See my comment for the post ... See MoreSee Less

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I can’t make this evening, essential child-care and past her bedtime. Can someone do the write-up? ... See MoreSee Less

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The perfect Christmas gift for any hashers! :-))) ... See MoreSee Less

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For the first time, I have booked to run the Hogs Back Run on 10th December. Any other hashers interested? ... See MoreSee Less

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Awesome turnout for the GH3 Blowjob Hash! Let’s crank it up next year OnOn ... See MoreSee Less

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A reminder that the BLoWJoB run before the Woking Beer Festival is being resurrected on 11th November. More details here: Woking beer festival run ... See MoreSee Less

January 22, 2018, 8:30pm

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Run: #1705
Hare: Poola
Location: F-in' Millmead
On-Inn: George Abbot

In order to make Rhum feel less bad about setting the hash in Timbuktu last week, Poola decided to affict us with the wretched pit that is Millmead. Rumour had it Jean Valjean had previously escaped to here before giving himself up to Javert. He'd realised that the Bagne of Toulon wasn't so bad after-all.

One thing is Millmead had going for it was that I could finish the notes by just copying-and-pasting snippets from the five plus other times we've run from there recently. In fact, this meant it could be the first time the notes would be completed before the actual run took place.

Anyway, Poola isn't one to be held back by traditional common-sense or an institution of good ideas. Millmead it was!

At 7:20pm there it seemed as if Honey and the scribe had bothered to turn up.

Incredibly, in a syzygy-esque conjunction, he'd also managed organise it to coincide with a once in a millenial event (council working late) and whatever religious indoctrination Guildford Baptist practice on a Monday. Hence there was bugger all parking except that which had to be paid for by the George Abbot pub. This meant a tardy start.

Everyone knows that the second* rule of hashing is choose a spot with good parking near a pub. At this point just mark that the start of the run wasn't anywhere near to where anyone had parked their car.

By about 7:35pm there seemed to be a reasonable gathering and the weather (being almost as cold as the crowd's reception to the location) prescribed we set off, but not before the hare informed that it might be worth having a wallet as there was a pub stop halfway round (see last paragraph).

With a distinct lack of entheusiasm we set off.

Spirits failed to be elevated by ascent of The Mount.

A check of watches with Stein Campf showed it had taken 20 minutes to cover the first mile. Wipe Clean pointed out the notes could be tricky this week as Dr. P was a no show.

I'll concede that the view from the end of the Hogs Back near Henley Fort, across the lights of Guildford, to the cathederal was impressive, but only with the knowledge that it was going to be all downhill from there.

The descent towards the river (via the well named suggestion, Scholars Walk) gave Satisfaction Guaranteed an excellent opportunity to demonstrate her open water diving techniques. The wider black-top paths also gave the naming committee a bit of space to come up with ways to make recent new members more welcome. Julian 'Swas' Dicker's handle was subject to a veto, but I'm sure it will be passed on second reading. Possibly we're just missing Lite Bite or need to get Loose Article and OTAHO to put a bit more effort in.

Once at the river G-Force managed to dig-up some ardor for the run and persuade some not to quit. This vigor was rapidly extinguished by an undistinguished F for false trail.

At the end we caught up with Lady Chatterly and her two guide dogs who had either turned up late or possibly just decided to skip the hills.

Sinners were:

Little Pecker for running to the run, wearing a ridiculous top, talking in the circle, going obstacle course racing, etc...
Swas and Cockpit for going obstacle course racing.
The Pro for a parking fracas which I believe is a thin French pancake.

Sinners were:

Satisfaction Guaranteed for her road-work.
Lady Garden for not having sinned for a week and stealing beer.
Loose Article for something.

For once no sinners were in their cups in the circle.



P.S. Don't forget Woking Beer Festival!

* The first rule being there are no rules.
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Look! The piss up in the brewery Hash one year ago today! ... See MoreSee Less

Drifts run - LP gets awarded a bespoke beer and basically GH3 trying to have a piss-up in a brewery with chips!

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Just want to leave this here. The people concerned will understand.

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Remember for this evening, that if the Millmead carpark is full the 'council' bit beyond is also available ... See MoreSee Less

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Another DATE FOR DIARY : Midsummer Nightmare Sat 23rd June 2018 ... See MoreSee Less

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DATE FOR DIARY : Burns night event 22nd Jan 2018 at the Albany pub in Guildford. ... See MoreSee Less

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Got my priorities right-just back from a trip to Asia and M.East and booked my Woking Beer Festival ticket this morning for the early session Sat 11th. The online ticket booking site is down so you have book over the phone with Woking Leisure Centre 01483 771122
On On c u Monday!
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Earliest ever I got back home from hash yesterday...😎 ... See MoreSee Less

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Not a hashing post but might well be of interest (and this was the quickest way to include all you outdoors types!) Will remove on Saturday (or if Admin requests 🙂 ). ... See MoreSee Less

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Run: 1704
Hare: Rhum
Location: Horton Country Park Golf Club

In 1704 the Royal Marines captured Gibraltar. This was probably an easier feat than getting to Rhum's hash which required braving the horrors of the A3 and a supply and shipment deal with OPEC. Rumour has it that the 3 shillings and 4 pence said 'make sure the drive is in range', which was mistaken for 'make sure there's a driving range.'

There were a number of witches; Ghastly Articles, No Spookie, Lady Ghoulerly, G-Fright, Wally. There were a couple skeletons; Imp Breath and Demongerous. Personally I don't see the point of a witch's hat. Groaner had come as a ghost, Fear-it as a vampire. Wurzle hadn't dressed up but had come as a zombie.

The Autumnal weather had finally set-in and it was looking like being a cauld run. A few people were coffin at the start.

The hash finished after a short spell of running which only lasted 1 minute and 24 seconds.

It was restarted, and then finished again after 3 minutes and 36 seconds.

The third time it lasted for a whole 13 minutes and 41 seconds, at which point the majority were heading back to the car-park having given up the ghost after failing to solve one of the checks. The FRB's just seemed to run into dead-ends.

The hare stepped in just at the last minute and managed to sort out this grave situation. It's possibly the first occasion people were happy to see Rhum's coloured rod being waved about in front of them. Once everyone was back on track, we were treated to a pleasant run along woodland paths.

At one point Mind the Tombs asked Dr Phantom to head to towards light which hopefully isn't advice she'll take back to the hospital.

Sinners were Lich Pecker for turning up, Dr. Phantom for practicing as a tree surgeon and Imp Breath got rattled half-way and became unmasked.

Two of the hashers had been mummified for the evening so Spooky-Style labeled them Squid and Eagle-Eye.

At the end we were left bone-tired and retired to the On Inn for sand-witches and boos.


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Your GM wishes you all a spooky 👻 Halloween (cackle cackle cackle) ... See MoreSee Less

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