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Don't forget to BRING CASH for your AGM reserved meal for 24/4......£10 for members and £18 non-members. ... See MoreSee Less

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Are there any spare seats at the GM's impeachment tomorrow? A friend's decided to come on the hash at late notice. ... See MoreSee Less

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John Hindle created an event for Guildford Hash House Harriers. ... See MoreSee Less

Midsummer Nightmare

June 17, 2017, 11:49am - June 17, 2017, 2:49pm

Arrive Friday evening or Saturday morning. On the Friday, we set up the marquee, break open the beers and enjoy a fish and chip supper at £5. On Saturday, we kick off with bacon and egg baps and at 1...

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Run: 1672 (Aye carumba!)
Date: 17/04/17
Hares: No Nookie & SFB
Location: Chobham Common

The venue for this run was the recently ablaze Chobham Common. The pack duly assembled, bleary eyed and blinking in the sunlight, at the uncommon hour of 11 am.

Apparently the tradition of the Easter Bunny originated among the German Lutherans as the Easter Hare, who would decide whether children had been good enough to deserve Easter eggs at the start of Eastertide. So it seemed fitting that our own Easter Hares informed us that they had designed their own way to evaluate the pack, and maybe motivate them to run a little faster. At each check they had hidden one or more tin foil eggs which could be exchanged for chocolate on our return.

There were a couple of visitors whose names have been lost to posterity, and a returner in the form of Arsehole (formerly known as Mad Cow).

The hash set off, following Lady Garden who seemed to have sprouted a set of rabbit ears. As we followed the flour down the rabbit hole, we ran through many gorse-lined trails and around the half-way mark arrived at the view point. Admittedly, the only real thing to see was W*king but even the soon to be razed BAT building looked OK from this distance. Also at the view point was a member of the public who had just broken his toy aeroplane and got a little concerned when the pack arrived and started milling about. He seemed hesitant to get his tool(s) out if we were going to be hanging around.

If the first half of the hash had been characterised by Lady Garden consistently checking the wrong way, this role was handed over to Dr P for the second half. Moorland is notoriously difficult to navigate on, which may explain why only half the pack arrived back at the car park. Somewhere along the way, we had ‘accidentally’ lost the walkers. SFB swore it was nothing to do with his laying arrows as Checking Chicken. This led to a much-depleted circle.

The sinners were Dr Pussy for having failed to limbo under the barbed wire next to a stile and nearly garrotting herself, Arsehole for trying to find Wally’s snake in the dense gorse thicket, and someone else for displaying racist tendencies having missed the hash to go swimming. She was also noticed to have been branded by the Tin Man triathlon ranch, so if anyone knows how to contact them we should report the sighting.

The On-Inn was the Red Lion in Chobham. As the kitchen was closed due to a recent change of management, the hares laid on a fantastic Easter banquet. A great trail, followed by a free lunch, is a sure way to win over the pack and a great time was had by all. Our thanks and gratitude to the Easter hares.

On-on, Camping Gaz
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How does a Hasher get a piece of business onto the AGM agenda? 🙂 ... See MoreSee Less

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For modest GH3 hashers who change post hash... ... See MoreSee Less

Get your kit off! Time for some beach action 😉

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MM is still in need of a Hon Sec. The HS should only need to assist with the web mail list, send emails out to notify of events, liaise with hash cash, manage the spreadsheets for events (usually x3 times a year), keep an eye out on Facebook page etc - Some posts had disappeared over time which I sort of absorbed but could/should be dished out again e.g. Hash bash. I of course am willing to keep doing this along with hopefully the GM role but it would be great to have someone willing to have ago to assist to keep GH3 ticking over..... I'm happy to answer any queries just message me - thanks. ... See MoreSee Less

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Volunteer hares for end of May and June/July please. It will be good if OTAHO takes over the Trail mistress job with some forward bookings. ... See MoreSee Less

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Bart Simpsons galore ... See MoreSee Less

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Some pics from Thrush Hours excellent run. The pub looks nice anyway. ... See MoreSee Less

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Run 1672 - Drinkerbell and Peter Pan go to Nevercall Never Call Land. Worplesdon Hare - Thrush Hour

Peter Pan was the first time the world encountered the name Wendy , but in this hashs case it was the first time we witnessed a hare so inebriated DURING her own hash that she thought she could fly. Drinkerbell would have been an apt new hash name.

Many thought we were seeing double , but it turned out to be her stunt double older sister Flush Hour.

The hare claimed she had fallen when laying the trail but all experienced hashers recognised carpet burns when they saw it.

Comedy Duo Dange and Suarez both turned up , except the canine contingent and various children/ grandchildren/great grandchildren / great great grandchildren also seemed to be in attendance.

Dingers couldnt make it due to tax reasons. Dr Pussy had a 69 on her face and Camping GAzagator came as RUN DMC. Many hashers came as gay pirates and Old Mac Nickbrook came as Captain Morgan.

Rhum came as something random.

4 Pounds ( 5 bucks) blew the whistle on the drink stops , complained about the lack of song diversity and was far too enthusiastic. The 'special relationship' seems to have gone too far these days and post Trump post Brexit our hash has become a sanctuary for those seeking asylum from their own asylum .

with 4 'aid stations' on the way the hash incredibly got faster as the run wore on , rather like darts players we improve with blood alcohol.

As is traditional at this location everyone got lost at some point , but being lost with booze can often be better than on trail with none so no negative comments were slurred. Erectile Dysfunction also now seems to be the acid test for whether a hash will be 'boozy ' or 'dry'

The food was served promptly at 9pm....to an empty pub which was fantastically well timed. Beer was drunk , songs were sung.

The scribe failed to note sinners due to not being able to rite good. , Camping Gaz for being a tumbling tosser , Wurzel for shortcutting and Dange for getting white powder up his bum ...as recalled from memory.

Without a doubt an enjoyable 10k and the sore heads and knees this morning are a testament to a job well done.

On On

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Bluebells are looking well in Chantry woods. Not even Daring Alice could ruin the view - I didn't bother taking a picture of him. ... See MoreSee Less

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Nana Darling Dog is on guard and watching to make sure Peter doesn't steal us away... ... See MoreSee Less

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Kitchen closes at 9 tomorrow, but pub will take any order in advance and food should be prepared for our arrival. You can call, email, or tell them in person prior to the run. Let them know you're with Guildford Hash group. Bill is on you though! 🙂 ... See MoreSee Less

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I think we'd be welcomed back! ... See MoreSee Less

The mysterious crown shape flour marking on the pavement outside The Royal Oak yesterday was finally explained when random runners appeared throughout the evening on their royal run of Guildford. Than...

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Captions please ..... ... See MoreSee Less

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Run: 1670
Date: 3/4/17
Hares: Little Pecker
Location: Millmead

In 1670 the Merry Monarch arranged a Secret Treaty

Your humble scribbler assumed once more the role of chauffeur to the Mayor of Guildford for the evening, parking the official, austerity-era Polo in the assigned slot in the Borough Council carpark.

In the habituated surroundings of Millmead Palace, we were glad to welcome Faisal, guest of our pretender to the Scottish throne, Bonnie Prince Honey. Siegi, Axel, Lady Chatterley, Heather and son, together with Back and Fast (joining the head of the von Track dynasty, Mind-The-) were notable as returnees. Little Pecker assumed the guise of the Merry Monarch, Charles 2nd, although the casting was a tad understated, in that the real Charlie was 6 foot 2 ins, well above most of his subjects. Even so, a little birdie timely whispered that the crown he wore was a size too small. LadyNellGwyn blew his horn as checkin’ chicken.

The trail headed northwards along the canal to the railway bridge which we crossed to find the first of the evening’s royal hostelries, The King’s Head. Steadfast monarchists stopped for potations, whilst the revolting Roundheads carried on puritanically. The next landmark was the multi-storey carpark in which an unusual upwards helical hash manoeuvre was performed. The trail stopped at 2 more of the regal pubs, The Royal Oak, and another King’s Head (indicating how limited are the imaginations of Guildford’s publicans in naming their venues, although the latter’s features indicated that there was a time-shift back to Henry VIII). Bodyshop let slip that he pays for head, in an uncertain context.

The Mainly-old Model Army took the short route back to the On Inn, setting a new hash record time of 37 minutes for a circuit, but missing out on a treaty of chips at the Burger King, reportedly enjoyed by The Royal Society.

Those who lost their heads at Court were:

• Mind-the-Tracks, for inappropriate athleticism in winning his age-group in a triathlon.
• Drift, for inappropriate navigation in running up a blind alley
• Bodyshop, for inappropriate counterfeiting in failing to pass off a fake £1 coin

Cavalier Dingers joined Little Pecker in exercising his divine right to drink under a ‘No Drinking Alcohol’ sign, during which Camping Gaz and (5 Bucks)^n arrived inappropriately late, perhaps having run around like headless chickens, or possibly having done a Major F*&$ing Liability. We sailed into the Royal Britannia, where a few heads sat uneasy, wearing the crown. Many thanks to LP for a capital and right royal hash, the best on Fish Fingers and Custard Day for many a reign, and particularly so for those looking for restoration of the heir: we enjoyed every minute of it.

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Wherever could those drink stops be....
Less than a week until Peter Pan fancy dress run 🙂
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King of the hash ... See MoreSee Less

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Hi Guys & Girls,

I hope this is ok to post? if not please feel free to remove admin.

I just wanted to let you all know about a free trail shoe test run taking place from the Trekking & Outdoors shop in Shere next wednesday evening. I will be running a La Sportiva test shoe run and will have a number of models and sizes to try. It is completely free of charge and all you need to do is be there for 7pm to register and choose your shoes so you are ready for a 7.30pm start.
It would be great to see some of you there.
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Hi guys and girls, i know this is in half term and some of you maybe on your hols but this maybe of interest?! On Wednesday 12th April from 7pm Trekking & Outdoors have a whole bunch of La Sportiva T...

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Allan Robertson shared his event to the group: Guildford Hash House Harriers. ... See MoreSee Less

Beerkley Marathon

May 20, 2017, 11:00am - May 20, 2017, 5:00pm

Trail run with five pub stops. Around 10 miles in total. Within an hour train ride from Waterloo. Stunning country, woods, rivers and small-ish hills. Really easy to get to from London Waterloo. Can w...

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Hi all, I'm looking for an app or website plug-in to assist in car or uber sharing to make it easier for those without transport get to the runs. Does anyone know of a good one? Thanks UnderD ... See MoreSee Less

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Non Hash related, but our son is selling his car as he has changed jobs and with the new job comes a BMW 2 series Coupe. So we have a 'perfect' SEAT Ibiza Copa 1.4 available. Only 24k on the clock. Reg. 30/12/11. £4,650 ono. Contact No Nookie or SFB. ... See MoreSee Less

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Run: 1668
Date: 20/3/17
Hares: Birthing Blanket & Bugs Bunny
Location: Potters, Mytchett

War and Off-piste: in which the Knitting Circle needles an army outfit.

Firstly, many apologies for the lateness of this report; I have been lapped by Dingers who has put me to shame with both speed and prose. It is amazing how much time a visiting 9-month old grandson can take up.

Cutting it fine (again) to the carpark at Potters, your humble scribe only heard the end of Birthing Blanket’s hare-talk, which was a warning that person or persons unknown were shooting at rabbits in a field somewhere; the presence of co-hare Bugs Bunny was some reassurance that the accuracy was not perfect. We were pleased to have a virgin, Miguel, who hails from Burgos in northern Spain, which is apparently famous for its black pudding (providing perhaps the basis for a suitable hash name); The Pro was with us, but, although habitually accompanied by Spanish virgins, disclaimed responsibility for this particular one. We were also visited by a tall American apparently with the hashname Five Bucks, Five Bucks etc. Dressed in yellow top and ‘shorts’, he resembled a banana taller and straighter than any EU import regulation might require. All were very welcome.

The first 10 minutes or so were spent trail-blazing through brambly undergrowth. At one point Wally, in the role (once again it is noted) of checkin’ chicken, laid his own circle, not content with those of the hares. At another point Wally began jettisoning flour with abandon, perhaps reliving overweight landings. The big excitement of the evening was an encounter with an army platoon, with blackened faces and rifles, lurking on the edge of the forest, and trying to avoid spoiling their night vision with the light of our torches.

The hares had arranged a splitting point for short- and long-cuts. After a while on the long-cut it became apparent that the flour was notable – for its absence; this was obviously a military-inspired test by the hares of survival skills and orienteering in the wilderness. After some dithering on this off-piste trail, even more vacillating than usual, scout Wurzel took the initiative, saying that he knew the way; we followed like sheep. The root route was interrupted by another soldier, obviously arranged by the co-hares. He informed us that the way we were heading would lead us into the ‘enemy’, and sent us off at right angles. We soon re-encountered more, or perhaps the same, army platoon who appeared glad to see the back of us.

Back at Potters Little Pecker claimed that he had found a smoke grenade, whilst Ladygrenade held aloft his own trophy of an arrow, obviously a new stealth weapon of the British Army. Still clutching his fletches Ladyguyofgisbon poured lemonade into the vicinity of his crutch for some reason. Court-martialled were:

• Little Pecker, for trying to get the hare shot
• Wally, for laying flour in a continuous loop
• Wurzel, for running into (5 Bucks)^n, a mis-matched collision with a poor exchange rate.

The On Inn was in Potters Bar, where the Mismanagement held an interminable committee meeting, 5 Bucks and Thrush Hour spoke together in their own language, and Last Gasp appeared after half an hour or so: just like old times. Many thanks indeed to the Beebies for a great military-themed hash. The long-cut was the best unmarked trail of the year, and the whole the best army-marshalled one – and, as a bonus (?), no-one was shot.


Trail with a sexculminate profile:
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Run: #1669
Hare: Camping Gaz
Location: West Clandon
On In: Onslow Arms

"If ever there were a spring day so perfect, so uplifted by a warm intermittent breeze that it made you want to throw open all the windows in the house...", said Billy Collins.

"The force needed to extend or compress a spring by some distance is proportional to that distance.", replied Robert Hooke.

With springs comes the promise of the new, and so Camping Gaz decided to brave the judgement of the pack and be a March hare. The hare wasn't the only new thing on the cards, Five Bucks from Big Hump Hash turned up to add some seasoning.

No Nookie had begun spring cleaning and turned up with the finest collection of silver-ware since OTAHO and MTT last put their heads together. Determined to get in on the action Rhum then proceeded to get his top off.

Underdeveloped set off at a clip straight to the bar whilst the rest of us followed a 5 mile false trail around beautiful unsullied green belt woods and fields. Hopes ride on GBC tarmacing over the place and building a housing estate so we can enjoy the experience of Woking without leaving our borough.

Dangerous lived up to his name, swallowing a fly whilst simultaneously tripping. It was a little like a reverse-escapology show in which the entertainer ends up firmly tied up by a dog-lead.

The trail itself showed little promise, it was well marked and the hare failed to make any attempts for it to criss-cross itself as an experienced virgin setter might.

Also hoping for something new was Thrush Hour, unsatisfied with her monica she was considering running for office in order to re-call it. Various medical conditions were proposed, whilst I thought the ornithological "spotted black under-parts" would be rather fine.

The youth Under-50's section (which includes the unnamed Axle) were in fine fettle. Only the hare's attempt to kibosh them with Welsh whisky slowed them near the end.

Future trails may need a little cunning to take out these new-age gazelles. Under Developed clearly had the right idea.

Over-all a splendid outing on a beautiful evening with the most exquisite verdant back-drop.

There were some sinners and a virgin in a superman top, sadly their crimes and names are lost to history.

On On!

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